My name is Kenna Cashion.  I am 32 years old.  I was raised by a stay-at-home mom and a truck driver dad.  I was always called a “miracle” baby. I was the first child of their marriage and came later in their lives. We always thought our family looked a little like the Brady bunch.  My mom had 4 children from a previous marriage and so did my dad. Being a “miracle” baby, they had given me to the Lord in their hearts before I was even born. The enemy has always been out to get me...

       My name is Treyton Hartle.  I am 22 years old from Bloomfield, MO and this is how Jesus turned my life around.  On April 1st, 1998 I was born into a great family with loving parents who knew the Lord.  Following that was a life in church that was never appreciated like it should have been.  At 12 years old I gave my life to the Christ at church camp…then came high school.  The work was easy.  I wasn’t good enough to play college sports, and I found out I loved having...

My name is Mike Shepherd, I am 60 years old from St. Louis, MO. In grade school I absolutely knew what I wanted to do with my life and that was to play soccer.  I loved it and was good at it.  When I got into high school, I got hurt playing football and my soccer dream was gone.  This threw me for a loop, and I had trouble dealing with it emotionally.  I was resentful toward the other players, not a member of the party crowd, shy with the girls and I felt like I did not fit in anywhere....

My name is Kandy Riggs.  I am 49 years old from Sebree, Kentucky.  I am the 8th of 10 children.  When I was growing up, my father was an abusive alcoholic who shot at and stabbed us kids.  I have been married for 30 years and we have 2 children and 2 grandchildren.  I didn’t have my last child until I was 35 years old and I  had to have several surgeries as a result.  The surgeries resulted in pain medications which I became addicted to.  I would stop for periods of time, but I...

My name is Hunter Willis.  I grew up in Harrison, Arkansas but now I live close to Springfield, Missouri.  I’m 27 years old and have fought drug and alcohol abuse since I was 16.  Growing up was perfect.  My family and I trained horses and rodeoed.  We went to church every Sunday and I was active in the youth groups.  My family was very close.  My dad worked and my mom stayed at home with me and my brothers.  She say’s she would ask my brother where I was, and he’d usually say...

My name is Ryan Burhans. I am 40 years old. I was born in Wisconsin. When I was around fifteen my parents got divorced and I was left alone
a lot and I felt rejected. That’s when my drinking started. I moved out when I was sixteen and had my first child. The drinking got worse because
it numbed the pain of rejection that I felt. I have had many jobs and two marriages that ended due to my drinking. All these years of drinking, I
only had one accident. I know it was because...

Hello everyone, I am so honored to be sharing my testimony. My name is Carrie Mitchell, and I am 48 years old. I arrived at Freedom House two years ago on December 23 and boy has it been a journey. I didn’t wake up one day and say I was tired of living the life I was living. I woke up one day completely exhausted from years of drug addiction and alcoholism. Then I met Jesus! The road after I met Jesus has been one of tears, laughter, frustrations, joy, peace, anger, jealousy and lots and...

        My name is Kimberly Tomlinson.  I was born and raised in Pocahontas, Tennessee.  The Lord blessed me with a great family that taught me about Jesus at a young age.  I received salvation when I was young and even though I took the wrong path for a while, I know that Jesus was with me keeping me safe the entire time.  In high school, I started hanging out with what I thought were the “cool kids”.  I can remember just riding around and getting drunk and high with them. ...

   My name is Brian Nix.  I am 45 years old and was raised in Birmingham,...

My name is Melissa Jones.  I am 46 years old.  My life has never been what some call “normal”.  My dad was in prison until  I was around 12  years old.  Then when he  came home,  he was a  drug dealer  which  was   my introduction to cocaine, meth, marijuana and even the needle.  By the time I was 15, I was injecting cocaine and meth daily and had dropped out of school.  My dad ended up back in prison which left me with my mom who basically could not control me.  I ran...

My name is Cameron Collins. I’m 28 years old and I was born and raised in Mount Ida, AR. I have a brother that’s 2 years older than me and                            parents that got divorced when I was 4. I really don’t have many memories of them together. Both of my parents got remarried and my brother and I                          stayed with our aunt and uncle as well as my grandmother. I was raised in church until I was about 14. At the age of 14 I...

My name is Morgan Schmidt.  I’m 25 years old and I was born in Tupelo, MS.  I have a beautiful, 4 year old little girl named  Khloe Beth.  I grew up in a split home due to divorce.  I lived with my mom, but she had a problem and seemed to choose her addiction over being a other most of  the  time.  My  dad  wanted  the  best  for  me and felt  like  he   could  be a better parent so they ended up  fighting over me.  I  can remember how DHS would come to check on me...

My name is Jamie Black.  I’m 38 years old.  I grew up in a small town, Russellville, Alabama.  I had a good life with a very loving mother that was always there for me and worked really hard to provide for me.  When I was 4 years old, my father took his own life as a result of drug use, so I never really had a dad in my life.  My mother has 3 brothers and they were the ones who really raised me to be a man.  Like I said I had a good life, always played sports in school but never...

My name is Skylar Matheney.  I am 35 years old.  I  am from Piggott, Arkansas.  I am a single parent of a 13 year old son,  his  name  is Devon.  He is the light of my life and beside’s God, the source of my strength.  I started off on drugs at the age of 14, mainly  drinking and then that turned into marijuana. I was introduced to meth at the age of 16  and  started on  my  downward spiral.  The last few years were terrible.  I was terrible in a lot of ways.  I  was...

My name is Tim Lacey. I am 63 years old, from a small town in Southeast Missouri. In my late fifties, decades of drinking had taken its toll on me. I found myself
morally and spiritually bankrupt. I was alone and hopeless. I had been in several rehabs over the years, that taught me that I was an alcoholic, and I would always
be an alcoholic. I came to a critical point in my life, after my mom’s passing and I knew something had to change. A close friend told me about Freedom...

My name is Dezirae Starcher.  I’m 27 years old, I’m from Akron, OH.  I...

My name is Jerrel Gillentine and I was born in 1978.  When I was born, my father started seeking after God and made sure that I was going to church.  I received Jesus into my heart when I was 7 years old. I now know that even though I was making bad choices, He was with me and He was protecting me. My dad owned a body shop, so, as early as second grade I can remember going there after school to sweep the floors and clean up.  Then I would go home to do my chores there. I have 10 siblings.�...

My  name  is  James McNulty.  I  was born and raised in Longmont, Colorado until I was 17 years old and then I moved to Florida.  I started using drugs when  I  was 13, but  I managed to get really good grades and I graduated high school when I was 17.  I went to college, but I didn’t finish and get a degree.  I was “managing” my drug use until I was 22 and then I really went off the deep end or jumped over the cliff, whichever way you want to say it,  I  was a  mess. ...

My name is Terry Lynn Jackson.  I am 48 years old and was born on a farm in a small town in Illinois.  I was the youngest of 8 siblings, so I always got hand me downs and never had anything of my own that was new, so when I  was only 5 years old, I started stealing candy from the store.  This behavior grew and by the time I was 14, I was a  full- blown alcoholic and breaking into homes. I got in so much trouble by the time I was 17, I got arrested and sent to prison for 4 years.  In...

My name is Bradley Wince. I am 35 years old, from Paragould, AR.  I had a fair childhood.  When I was in the first grade people made fun of me because I had a patch on my eye because a pit bull bit me in the eye and my eye had to be put back in. I was never the same after that.  A month before I graduated high school I lost my dad and 4 of my close friends. I was supposed to be with my friends that night, but I got sick and didn’t go out with them.  They were partying and drinking and...

My name is Nina Lee Beal.  I’m 36 years old.  I am a proud mother of one son, Caden.  My life has been a tough one to live.  My family was torn apart at the age of 14 when I lost my mother who had been sick most of my childhood.  Her death triggered a downward spiral that began with partying on the weekends and escalated into being a full blown meth addict.  Along with the drugs came a dependency on  people and  relationships trying to fill  a void in my life that I now know, can...

My name is Cody Ishmael. I am 24 years old and from the Jonesboro, Arkansas area.  I have 4 younger sisters and a 4-year-old son.  Growing up, I lived with my memaw because both of my parents suffered from addiction.  She always took me to church and made sure I read my Bible. I was very sheltered and hated the very thought of drugs and alcohol.  When I was a teenager, my dad came home from Federal prison and moved schools.  My addiction started off mainly because I was just trying to...

My name is Zach Seymour. I am 28 years old from Bay, Arkansas.  I had a great childhood with a loving mother and was really into playing sports.  When I was 12 years old, I started playing basketball instead of baseball and made new friends.  I wanted to fit in with the cool crowd, so I started smoking pot and going to parties and drinking on the weekends.  I got into a 4-wheeler accident and broke my arm.  This started my addiction to pills and pain medications.  I ended up taking...

My name is Stacy Jane Bannon.  I am 45 years old.  I am a native Texan.  I came from a broken home and an extremely dysfunctional childhood. As difficult as it was, I know my parents did the best they could.  I came to know the Lord and  Jesus at a very young age, attending vacation Bible school, regular church services, and church youth camps.  However, I began at a very young age feeling lonely, empty and confused seeking out anything to change the way I felt.  I went to my first...

My name is Paige Weiss. I am 24 years old from Farmington, MO. Growing up, I had rejection and abandonment issues, this led to depression
and anxiety. After I graduated high school, I started experimenting with drugs, but they soon overtook my life. I got into a serious car accident
and miraculously walked away with only a scratch. After the accident, I realized how deadly the situation could have been. This scared me into
sobriety for 6 months, but it’s not really about...

My name is Ian Miller.  I am 39 years old from Taft, California.  I was born to a very good family and brought up in a very loving and somewhat sheltered environment.  My family is a very multi-racial melting pot, so I was raised to love and accept others.  I was raised Catholic and had my first Holy communion with people I am still friends with to this day.  I knew God from a very young age and walked with Him to the best of my ability and understanding until about the 7th grade, when I...

My name is Bobby Bean.  I was born and raised in Southern Illinois by a great mom and dad.  When I was 8 years old, my mother led me to the Lord, and I asked Him to come into my heart.  It wasn’t long after that when I started drinking and doing drugs.  I felt like I had to have just about anything and everything in order to make it through a day.  I was hopeless and paralyzed by fear without drugs helping me to numb these feelings of insecurity.  I started trying to get help through...

My name is Eric Wood.  I am 26 years old from Dexter, Missouri.  I’ve always had the feeling that I was going to do something “big” in this life, even though I grew up feeling rejected by my father who was very abusive and controlling because he was addicted to pain medication.  I always felt like he treated me different than he treated my 2 older brothers.  I never felt loved.  My father overdosed and we found him dead in our dining room when I was 15 years old.  At the time, I...

My name is Stewart Kerr. I am 24 years old from Muncie, Indiana. I grew up in a good home with good parents, two older sisters, and two younger brothers. We grew up going to a church where my parents were very involved, as I got older, they stopped forcing me to go and I started to stray away. Then I got into sports and got busy, and I stopped going to church completely. When I was 15, I began drinking with my friends and a year later I began to smoke weed. I smoked weed for a few years and...

Hello!  My name is Marvin Hembree; I am 40 years old and was born and raised in a small town called Clinton, Tennessee.  I am the oldest of 4 boys.  I grew up in an amazing home with two very loving parents who are still together to this day. The 4 of us boys were raised in church our whole lives and came to know God from a very young age.  I always excelled in academics in school, up until my teenage years when I began to experiment with drugs.  I have always been of a very small...

My name is Brittany Marie Brewer.  I am 34 years old from St. Louis, Missouri.  My mother worked really hard to raise me and my sister.  I was in beauty pageants and dance classes.  All of that changed in my early teenage years when my father introduced me to methamphetamines. This landed me in and out of several rehabs over the years.  In 2008, I found myself in an extremely abusive relationship.  One day in 2014, we were both high, arguing and driving down the road at 90 mph.  I...

      My name is Whitney Burnette.  I am 29 years old from Wynne,...

My name is Clair Florence.  I am 58 years old.  I was born and raised on a farm in central Illinois.  I was raised in the church and received Jesus at the age of 9, but as time went on, I didn’t act as if I was saved. I have always had issues with self-esteem, shame, and guilt.  I began drinking in high school and by the time I was in college, I was experimenting with all kinds of drugs.  I got married in 1979 and a  few years later we had two wonderful children, a boy, and a girl. ...

My name is Weston Moon.  I’m 30 years old and I’m from Trumann, Arkansas.  My mom and dad  were  great parents, but  their  marriage got taken over by Satan, drugs and lies and they got divorced when I was just 6 years old. I started playing sports when I  was  5  years old and that seemed to keep me busy and out of trouble for a long time.   Not knowing at the time that these years would be the   best  years of my life and not seeing that the road up ahead was paved with...

My name is Darline Pehle. I’m 26 years old. I am the oldest of 5 siblings but because of my size, I qualify as the runt. I was very abused as a child. I went to church growing up, but in high school I started to rebel against my family and the Lord. During my rebellion, I denied my belief in Christ. I was doing all sorts of bad things and then I was with my grandma when we got the call that my mom had died in her jail cell. Instead of looking to the Lord for strength, I rebelled even harder...

My name is Michelle Weeks. I am 37 years old and from Hayti, MO. I was blessed with a Christian grandma who took me to church and taught me right from wrong. My mother, however, was the one who introduced me to drugs when I was only 13 years old. As I got older, I continued down the wrong path. I got married when I was at 19 to a man who was very verbally, mentally, and physically abusive. I left him and he stalked me and tried to kill me. This dove me deeper into addiction. In 2015, I was...

My name is Tanner McCormick.  I’m 22 years old from Kennett, Missouri.  I am the oldest of 3 siblings.  My mother was addicted to pain pills, but she tried the best she could.  She blacked out a lot, so I basically raised my younger brother and sister until I was 11 years old. My mother got a boyfriend and I became very bitter.  When I was 13, I went to live with my father who I had only met once before in my life.  This turned out to be a bad decision.  I started drinking and...

My name is Jessi Kamper.  I’m 29 years old and I am a current resident of Kennett, MO.  I grew up in a very loving household. I have an older sister and 2 older brothers.  My parents always showed us lots of love growing up and they are still married.  I grew up in church and my parents would have us there every time the doors were open.  When I was thirteen years old, I prayed the prayer, walked the aisle at church, and gave my heart to Jesus.  But really, nothing about my life...

    Hello, my name is Omar Mitchell, and I am from St. Charles, Missouri.  I grew up and in a very loving but strict household.  My parents were great to us but volatile to each other.  I grew up seeing them argue a lot and it really affected me.  I was full of joy on the outside, but anger on the inside.  I started stealing things because I wanted attention.  It started with candy and escalated to joy rides in stolen cars.  By the time I was 20 years old, I had 6 felonies.  I spent...

My name is Nichole Haywood.  I was born in Kennett, Missouri and at the age of 3, my mother moved me and my older brother to Ohio.  This move took me away from my father, but I was blessed with a loving stepdad that took me in like his own.  He was the father I needed in my life.  My brother was older than me and was always getting into trouble.  I always felt like my mother loved him more than she did me.  He began raping me when we moved to Ohio.  This went on until I was 8 years old...

My name is LeeAnn Woods. I am 48 years old from Reyno, AR.  I’ve been blessed with two wonderful sons, Marcus and Chandler; a daughter in law, Emily and two grandsons, Chase and Ryder.  When I think about my life up until now, the scripture John 10:10 comes to mind, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” I grew up in a Christian home, going to church. I always wanted to do what was right.  My dream when I was...

My name is Joseph Owens.  I’m 27 years old.  I was a drug addict most of my life.  I was born in Paragould, Arkansas.  I can remember times before I tried meth, but I never remember a time when it wasn’t in my life.  My parents were both addicts and dealers.  In the 2nd grade I woke up early one morning and decided to try coffee, but I didn’t know it had been made with filters from cooking dope.  My dad decided to keep me home from school that day.  I have always thought drugs...

My name is Krista Bates-Duncan. I am 29 years old and live in Malden, Missouri. As I was growing up I went through many traumatic events that led                         up to my addiction. I lived in fear most of my life and did not have a clue as to what real love felt like. I didn’t understand what the word “love” even                              meant or what love looked like. As a child I was burned by boiling water at the age of three,...

Hi, my name is Nathan Dell.  I am 26 years old and I am no longer a methamphetamine addict!  I spent the last 4 to 6 years of my life using drugs and hanging out with the wrong groups of people.  During that time, I turned away from Jesus  and  lost sight of who I was.  I found myself alone and broken; for the first time in my life, I was afraid that  I  may  not  make it to see tomorrow.  I realized that I needed help because I no longer even knew who I was.  I found freedom in �...

Hello, I’m Misty Davidson. I’m 46 years old and from Moberly, Missouri. I grew up in a Christian home-Baptist. I was saved at the age of 9 but it seemed like at an early age, fear, torment, and anxiety set in and I doubted my salvation and my self-worth. I grew up in a very prideful and strifeful home. My Christian roots
go deep on my dad’s side. A lot of pastors and deacons of the church, but my momma’s side of the family wanted nothing to do with the Lord. A lot of...

 My name is Amy Shook.  I’m 41 years old from Booneville, MS.  I could go into my testimony and share all of life’s disappointments, rejections and events that led me to where I am today, but I will fast forward past the broken home as a child, being messed with sexually as a young girl, feeling abandoned from split parents and failed marriages.  Those are real life issues that the enemy used to lie to me and tell me I would never amount to anything and deserved all of life’s...

My name is Robert Jones.  I am 36 years old from Jackson, MS.  My life has been hard from the very start.  I was born with a hole in my heart and 2 ruptured hernias in my abdomen; I am told that during this time, I contracted scarlet fever.  I was a very sick baby.  I survived this only to be abandoned by my father at age 2, and I was physically and sexually assaulted by someone close to me until age 8.  My mother  re-married during this time to a man who would adopt me, but again I...

My name is Jordon Daniel Rogers.  I am 26 years old, and I am from Puxico, Missouri.  My parents got divorced when I was young, and it really affected me.  They both got remarried, but it was still never the same.  I put all the hurt deep inside and turned to drugs instead of dealing with it.  By the time I turned 18, I was an active meth user.  The devil had me right where he wanted me.  I lost family relationships and burnt every bridge I came across. I got “clean” for a while,...

My name is Marenda Bennett. I am 47 years old, from Gideon, MO. I had a drug/alcohol problem for approximately 25 years; however, I had been mostly sober since 2017 with a few relapses here and there, that is not what brought me to Freedom House. What brought me to Freedom House was a lifetime of darkness, not only with drugs and alcohol, but also with promiscuity, demonic worship, and witchcraft that completely consumed me. I had countless mental and emotional issues, not to mention...

My name is Stephanie Ballard.  I am 25 years old and was born in Paragould, Arkansas.  Growing up I did not have what most children had growing up.  I was born into addiction and with that I witnessed more than I should have.  My mother got shot in the neck over a drug deal gone wrong.  I was only 3 years old and I was in the back seat sleeping.  I watched my parents do everything in front of me and I felt a sense of responsibility to keep them safe.  I started doing drugs at the age...

Hi, my name is Michael Skiles, and I am 34 years old. I was born in St. Louis Missouri. I was raised in a good, hard-working family. We went to church every Sunday. When I was 14, at church camp, I started to feel the conviction of sin and got saved. A few weeks later, I believed I wasn’t saved and started going out with friends and experimenting with alcohol. It wasn’t long before partying on the weekends turned into an everyday thing. I went...

My name is Claude Essary, and I was born on July 27, 1977, in Bartow, FL. My mother was mentally ill, and my father was an alcoholic and a gambler, this made for a rough childhood. As I grew up, I had a lot of hate and anger from my upbringing that affected every part of my life. I just wanted to love people so much, because I didn’t want anyone to feel the way I felt inside. In November of last year, I was in jail for the fifteenth time; I was at a point in my life that I had never seen...

My name is Bo Sandefur and I am 23 years old. I’m from a small town in the hills of Kentucky called Horse Branch. I grew up in a good family. We always went to church, until I was 11 years old. At that time I fell out of a tree stand and I injured my back and was prescribed pain pills. That’s where my addiction began. In a very short time I learned how to synthesize methamphetamine and how to steal the ingredients for it, and I learned how to make moonshine and grow marijuana. I quit...

My name is Brandon Lee Norman. I was born in Missouri in 1994. My mother was an alcoholic and had several abusive boyfriends when I was growing up. She loved me the best she could. I ended up getting put into foster care. My mom passed away when I was 12 years old. I didn’t know how to cope so I began stealing, smoking and drinking. I went to juvenile detention and when I got out, I had the opportunity to go to college for construction engineering technology. I ended up dropping out...

My name is Hasson Abuharba. I’m 29 years old. I was born in East St. Louis, Illinois. I have 8 brothers of which I am the middle child. We grew up in a household where in the earliest memories, mom would leave for weeks at a time to get high. The hard times were when we would try to chase her down from crack house to crack house. Being that little all we wanted was mom, but then things got good for a while, and mom stayed clean for some years. But then she got a divorce, and everything got...

My name is Courtney Freer. I am 29 years old from Piggott, Arkansas. Growing up, I had a good childhood with 2 siblings, and we were raised by a single mother. My mom tried to make sure that we always had everything we needed. I was raised up going to church, but I just never developed that personal relationship with Jesus that I needed. I started smoking pot in the 6th grade and continued until I was 17 years old. I
used to dream about going to college and making something of my life...

My name is Michael Steward.  I was raised in California by an amazing single mother, Kathy Dixon who is married to an amazing  Christian husband, Richard Dixon.  I had everything I needed as a child and most of what I wanted.  My life was really good until I started smoking pot my senior year of high school.  I went off to college and kept smoking pot instead of fulfilling my responsibilities.   I soon found myself transporting drugs from California to the school I was “sort of”...

My name is Jerrod Hollis.  I’m 37 years old from Jonesboro, Arkansas.  I grew up with a fear of failure.  I always felt the need to be “perfect” and have carried that my whole life.  I thank God that now I understand that we all fall short, and Jesus loves us anyway.  When I was 14 years old, I started using pain pills to help these feelings of failure.  The pills made me not feel any emotion and I just became numb to the whole world.  They helped me not feel or care about...

 My name is Jacob Barnes.  I was born in 1997 in Jackson, Tennessee.  When I was young, my parents moved us to Kennett, Missouri because my father was from there.  My parents were young, and my dad couldn’t handle the pressure, so he drank and used drugs and hung out with the wrong people, often leaving me and my mom and sisters to fend for ourselves.  Eventually, my parents split up and my mom ended up moving all of us in with her boyfriend in a nice house.  This didn’t last long...

My name is Bradley D. Boyer.  I am 48 years old and was born in St. Louis, MO where I stayed until I was 5 years old and we moved to Bakersfield, CA.  I pray that the Lord gets the glory in this testimony and that it reaches and touches the person it is intended to.  When my family moved to California, it was all a crazy lifestyle.  My father let me drink and smoke pot with him.  One day I mentioned that to his boss and I began to get beat by my father.  My dad also beat my mother and...

Hello I am Kimberly Townsend (Kimmy). I am 54 years old and was born in St. Louis, Missouri. I am a proud mom of 2 very special men, Mathew Alan Trudell age 36 years old and his oldest brother(who is now with the Lord) Mack Andrew Trudell Jr.(1985-2004). Alcoholism and addiction have been a big part of my life since birth. My parents were both alcoholics and although I was never physically abused by either of them, my childhood consisted of watching them constantly verbally and physically...

My name is Michael Luttrell. I am a child of God...31 years old from Kennett, Missouri. My father was very abusive, so my mother took us and got away from him. This left me feeling angry and rejected. When I was 10 years old, my family owned a liquor store. I watched everyone drink and thought it looked like fun. I took my first drink at 13 years old, and I was instantly hooked. I watched my family do drugs and again, wanted to try to fit it. It started with marijuana and ended with meth,...

My name is Kent Anderson.  I am the youngest of 3 boys from a loving stay at home mother and a hard working father.  Wanting to fit in to what the world called popular was my downfall.  I wanted to do all the things other kids did who had material things.  I was spoiled and didn’t even know it because others had more material things than I had but they didn’t have a father who took them fishing and hunting or a mother who spent time working in the yard or catching butterflies or going...

My name is Marissa Lesley.  I am 43 years old from Dexter, Missouri.  I have been on and off drugs since I was 12 years old.  I never really      felt like I fit in anywhere and I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem issues.  I came from a good family.  My parents divorced when I was      young, but they were both good and loving parents.  Neither one of my parents ever had addiction problems. I started hanging out with the      wrong crowd in school and that was my...

My name is John Van Loan, I am 42 years old and I live in southwest Missouri.   I never realized the devastation alcohol would cause in my life when I started drinking at the age of 16.  I always just wanted to have fun and party. Little did I know that the alcohol and partying would eventually consume me with sin and shame that was taking me down a road that would kill me, and a road that did destroy my hope in life, along with shattering the hope and dreams of my wife Jana, my daughter...